Hey, all. What does one say, to begin an enterprise never before attempted? What voice does one choose? This business, there’s so much I need to tell you. It’s all so new, so unbearably new.

To convey all this information, with all its intricacies and myriad sources and methodical procedures to achieve best results for this strange and untraveled road, I can’t be all that silly (even though silliness prevails down to my core). At the same time, I can’t be all stilted, bolting out information and hammering mechanical tutorials into every post. There has to be a person behind it all. Someone you can see and feel. I feel I should just be blunt and straightforward.

Here’s the deal. I’m a fairly average dude. Right now I’m drinking a very cheap beer, which comes in a big bottle (so you know it’s trouble). Olde English. There’s worse. But for 20 cents more, I get a smooth finish rather than a nails-on-chalkboard aftertaste. How’s that for informative? I may have already changed your life; haven’t even really started yet.

I just want you to know, I don’t have my head in the clouds. A lot of people selling wares of this sort seem like they came in from another planet. You name it:

-orgone accumulators
-crystals
-tachyon something-or-others
-I dunno, hemp dresses? Wish I had a longer list; this just looks lazy

In any case, they spiral off into a metaphysical wonderland of which hardly anyone can relate. Love and light, namaste, be one with the melon baller, etc. Juice cleanses 4 lyfe. They’re all helpful mindsets to have, I’m sure, and they’re fairly alienating at the same time. Universal love is tough to achieve, and at the same time, I can see its immense value. But, unlike vendors of similar products, I won’t lose myself to it. I’m going to be a real person to you. Here, let’s try a thought exercise. It’s real simple, don’t freak.

Imagine you suddenly happened upon a mysterious technology. Say you dug it up out of your grandparents’ attic, Goonies style. A long lost artifact of something great. This technology was within your reach to recreate. You have nothing better to do, and you crave adventure; why not use your own hands to build something not many have seen? That’s me. I’m you. I happened upon something that seemed too farfetched to be real, but being the go-getter type I am, I decided to pursue it, and prove it to myself. Reading rebuttals and skepticism on the internet is not enough to satisfy me; if I’m curious and it’s within reach, I’ll test it myself. So I did. and it exceeded every expectation I had. It was so exciting and so captivating, it became a cornerstone of my newly envisioned future. You ever have a moment like that? Where you wander into something new and unknown, and in that instant you know, this will become a major aspect of my life? Right away, without hesitation? What a feeling. We all need a few more of those in our lives.

Though it’s mentioned on my info page, I want to sum up just what the hell I’m talking about. What I’m offering is a device based off orgone accumulating technology. Orgone is a Western term for natural energy, just like chi, prana, mana, or the myriad names this energy has been given the world over. It incorporates that, and transcends it. How? It can be programmed. That energy can be told what to do. It can be given a function. Since it’s biological energy, it’s effortlessly assimilated into any living thing. You, me, plants, animals. Not only that, but minerals, metals, and even the air and atmosphere are affected. You know the original inventor of orgone accumulators, Wilhelm Reich, was able to affect weather with his devices? Biological energy affects just about everything we can perceive. Imagine if you could accumulate it, and give it a function? Welcome to Aetheric.

To wrap up, I want to tell you what I’m here to do. As mentioned before, I’m not going to alienate you. I’ll admit, that’s going to be hard. Aetheric technology is truly space-age. If this was adapted on even a city-wide—no, even a block-wide scale, it would change society as we know it. Technical term coming up, warning… Biological energy-based environmental enrichment technology. A device that, if used effectively, can change the biological energy signature of not just an individual person, but an entire physical area, is astounding to contemplate. At the moment, the interaction of biological energy and mood, health, and physical reality is low to none on the Western side of the globe. Even throughout the world, the idea that a device can accomplish this seems like nothing more than a fantasy. Now imagine if you were in my shoes. You happened upon something that did just that. How would you sell it to the world? How could you get it out there fast enough? To change the mind and expectations of the nation, of the world? It wouldn’t be easy. Daunting, to say the least. Yet, if you know it was the answer to untold amounts of suffering around the world, you would know that you cannot hesitate or choke. Some things are bigger than you. Some things you simply must persist at.

Every question or curiosity you have, it is my supreme joy to answer. Every contradiction or skepticism you can muster, I am delighted to confront. I believe in my product 100%, and I will help you every step of the way. No question is too small or nuanced. I’ve experienced every facet of this technology one could hope to. I’m going to show you something you’ve never seen before. And, as I mention all over my site, I’ll show it to you for free. You have nothing to lose, except all burdens and imagined limitations.

I have so much to share, there isn’t time enough to really even get started. Big plans for this enterprise. Those of you arriving in the very beginning: prepare to watch a most interesting unfurling. Those of you arriving months from now, chancing upon my very first post: you’re laughing at my choice of beer. And you know everything I’ve said to be true, and obvious. For now, I’ll build a steady brick-laid road to that point. Piece by piece, we’ll achieve a new reality together. Life doesn’t have to be such a chore. I’ll make it a real joy for you, promise. See you at the top.

-jeaux