FREE, SO FREE
I'll spit it out: everyone gets a free sample.
I want you all to try this stuff. It's too important to keep to myself. You can get your free sample and get lost, never to return. No strings attached.
Everyone in the US need only pay $6 for shipping. International customers, email me and I can send you a custom invoice. Most locations have a $15 shipping fee for even a small parcel. If this is too much, talk to me and I'll see what we can work out.
Don't wish to pay a single cent? You're in luck. Aetheric energy can be transmitted through pictures and video, as its effects can be considered to be non-local. The AetherVision channel features some rather alien looking prototypes that can do all sorts of positive things for the viewer. Just follow the instructions in the video description.
Though if you desire a free sample of your very own, just take a look at the Shop and check out the items that have "FREE" in the title, all caps. Can't miss 'em.
All U.S. customers need only to add these items to their cart and check out. Easy as pie.
There's not a whole lot else to say. If you want a free Aether device, I'll happily give you one.
Enjoy.