I'll spit it out: everyone gets a free sample.

I want you all to try this stuff. It's too important to keep to myself. You can get your free sample and get lost, never to return. No strings attached.

Everyone in the US need only pay $5 for shipping. International customers, the cheapest I can get the shipping to be is $15. I wish I could get it to you cheaper but I'm at the mercy of the postal service.

Don't wish to pay a single cent? You're in luck. Aetheric energy can be transmitted through pictures and video, as its effects can be considered to be non-local. The AetherVision channel features some rather alien looking prototypes that can do all sorts of positive things for the viewer. Just follow the instructions in the video description. 

Though if you desire a free sample of your very own, just take a look at the Shop and check out the items that have "FREE" in the title, all caps. Can't miss 'em.

There's not a whole lot else to say. If you want a free Aether device, I'll happily give you one.

Enjoy.